The Blogg

Like many people, I am upset that last night was the last episode of The Tonight Show with Conan O’Brien, but not because I am outraged over the unfairness of it. It is difficult to feel too sorry for someone who had a dream job, was just handed $35 million, and could have kept his job if he were willing to be flexible about the timeslot. My reasons are much more selfish: for a decade Conan’s show has been a pleasant end to my weekdays. Whether I watch while working, listen while drifting off to sleep, or take a break from whatever I am doing to at least catch the monologue, I have not missed many of his shows. No other late-night show is half as funny.

I was always a bit skeptical of Conan’s move to the Tonight Show from the beginning. So much of his Late Night shtick revolved around the show being run on a shoestring budget and having few viewers. How could that work on the largest comedy stage in daily broadcast? Besides, I knew that the older, more refined audiences at 11:35 would not appreciate his zany antics and surreal humor. Indeed, my mother hates him. Surprisingly he maintained these elements more or less as they had been on Late Night, and unsurprisingly his ratings were bad.

I hope that in September he will be able to get another gig with most of the cast and crew intact. He is the star, but it would not be the same show without Max Weinberg, Mark Pender, Richie “LaBamba” Rosenberg, and the rest of the once-and-future Max Weinberg 7. I am sure the writers and production staff are also more important to the show than I would guess. But no one else is going to give them the kind of budget that NBC did. We will see at that time what kind of man O’Brien is; whether he really loves his craft enough to do it anyway or will be unwilling to work for less than what he perceives as his value.

In the meantime, it would be fantastic if he and his crew took advantage of the fact that their severance pay means they will not need to work for sometime and created free web content for the fans. After watching O’Brien and the band perform Freebird with Billy Gibbons, Beck Hansen, Ben Harper, and Will Ferrell last night and remembering the rockabilly songs that he would perform with the Max Weinberg 7 during the writer’s strike, I would love to see host and band go on tour as a musical act with comedy thrown in for a few months.

Also, it is surprising to me that NBC is and has been for some time the 4th rated television network. Of the weekly shows that I currently make a point of watching when they have new episodes (Law & Order, Law & Order: SVU, Law & Order: Criminal Intent, The Office, Parks And Recreation, Community, House, The Simpons, Family Guy, and American Dad), more than half are NBC shows. In all three places where I have lived I thought the local NBC affiliate had the best evening news program. Even without Conan, they have the best weekday late night programming (Leno is good, just not as good as Conan, and while Jimmy Fallon was awful he is getting better). It cannot live up to its earlier incarnations, but I would still rather watch Saturday Night Live than anything else on Saturday nights. I do not watch much in the way of early morning talk or news magazines, but when I do it is the Today Show and Dateline. The only thing I tune into CBS for is sports events, and I don’t even know what channel our local ABC affiliate is on. Apparently the families surveyed by Neilsen have very different tastes than I do.

If you like hackneyed forms (ballad meter, according to Wikipedia), forced rhymes, embarrassing metaphors, and half-finished work, then you will love this poem that I wrote while unable to sleep last night:

Cursed be the day the beast was born,
In rotting and decay.
Quickly it spread across the land,
Grew stronger ev’ryday.

No climate was too much for it,
Not desert, hill, or glen.
The beast could feed on wheat or rye,
Or roots or fruits or men.

For ten men came to taste the beast,
And nine it filled with glee.
The other thought he ate the beast,
But it consumeth he.

We tried to fight the beast one day,
And drove it from the land.
We could not live without the beast,
And gave in to demand.

The beast was now a part of us,
As heart and skin and bone.
For that orig’nal sin of old,
We all must now atone.

Cursed be the day that old Pandora,
Raised it to her lip.
We cannot kill the beast, my friend,
So come and take a sip.

I have a terrible diet, consisting of fast food, meat, grease, carbohydrates, and so forth. Thus, I have always assumed that I must be eating far more than the 2000 calories per day that is the lower bound of the FDA’s recommended daily allowance and am saved from extreme obesity through a high metabolism. Last month, I set out to test this theory by recording everything I consumed while maintaining my usual eating habits. I took a break from this for a while because I was sick and then forgot about it, but started again last week. Any short period of time is not ideal for drawing large conclusions from because I tend to eat the same thing for a week at a time, but the data that I collected is in the table below.

I was not concerned with making exact measurements, but think my estimates should be close enough. For foods eaten in the home I was able to take nutrition information directly from the labels, and for food from chain restaurants it was available on their websites. When I had no reliable source I estimated from looking at reports of similar items on the web and marked these estimates with an asterisk.

I was quite surprised to find that of the 14 days for which I kept records, I only exceeded 2000 calories 3 times. On an average day in that time span I consumed only 1682 calories, and if I drank water instead of sugary beverages that would drop below 1500. This is not a validation of my eating habits; I do not drink nearly enough fluids, most of what I eat is filled with salt and preservatives, and I am sure a larger fraction of my calories come from fat than any nutritionist would approve of.

Still, it does make me wonder what a person would have to eat in order to hit the 2500 calorie upper bound. I could not eat any more than I already do, so I would need to start replacing other foods with pure fat or start pouring extra sugar into my drinks. I am sure a person who is much larger than me would be able to eat significantly more before feeling full, but these caloric guidelines are for average, healthy people and I myself am overweight. I also wonder how many calories a person gets when seriously dieting. If my cheeseburgers and fried chicken were replaced with a salad, I would think you could drop this average down to around 1000 calories per day.

Yesterday I visited at least half a dozen dealerships and used car lots in the early afternoon, finding essentially the same thing that I had seen in online inventories. (That is, vehicles approaching the end of their first decade with nearly 100,000 miles on them and prices in the $6000 – $7000 range.) I did not see anything that I really wanted to buy at that price, but a few that I felt I could live with. The salespersons at each of these businesses were friendly and helpful, but not at all controlling. My next stop was at Alexander Kia on Lycoming Creek Road in Williamsport, where a salesman showed me a 2005 Kia Optima LX with 38,000 miles on it that would have the remainder of the factory warranty transferred to the new owner. While a little larger than I was hoping for, it had my required features (four doors, automatic transmission, cruise control, air conditioning) and appeared to be in excellent condition. It had just arrived, so he did not have a price. I expected that it would be too expensive for me, but agreed to wait while he and his manager worked up a price.

At this point he started getting pushy, making me wait a long time, trying to turn the interest that I expressed into a declaration that I would buy it, trying to get me to say that my $6000 budget was just what I wanted to finance in addition to a $2000 down payment, getting permission to run a credit check and work up some financing numbers even though I was not nearly that far along in my decision, etc. When he came back with a price of $7988 I responded that it sounded like a good deal but that I was looking for something a bit older, more heavily used, and thus lower priced.

Then the manager came over and started the real high-pressure job: “What, you don’t like my cars?”. After I explained that I did but they were out of my price range and that I might be back if I found nothing cheaper at his competitors, “I don’t have any competitors”. I very quickly became annoyed with his attempts to strong-arm me into taking a test drive and doing whatever he could to keep me there, and was ready to leave when he asked me what I wanted to spend, then if I would buy that day if he could get the price down to $6000. The possibility of getting a vehicle with much less wear and tear than those I had been considering at that price was enough to keep me there, and once he confirmed that price I took it for a test drive, called my wife to talk it over, and decided to purchase it in spite of the borderline sleazy tactics.

After a bit of research they determined that the vehicle did not have a 10 year / 100,000 mile warranty, but only 5 years / 50,000 miles, which would end on January 3, 2010. This was not a bait-and-switch; I actually believe that they had been sincere about the warranty the entire time. This was disappointing, but did not change the fact that I would be getting the car at a very nice price. (While on the phone with Rachel I had asked her to run it through the Kelley Blue Book, which gave a suggested retail price of $7415 for one in excellent condition.) I tested all of the features I could think of during the test drive and glanced over the engine compartment afterwards. Not that I would really know what to look for, but it was clean and lacking any fluids that might have been leaked during the drive. Based on that and the immaculate body and interior, I think it is in at least close to excellent condition.

I am very satisfied with the decision I made to buy the car, but will probably regret this next decision that I made. It was the warranty that attracted me to the vehicle in the first place, after my last car left me as a nearly worthless hunk of scrap metal. Knowing that the factory warranty would be expiring soon, they offered me an additional 4 year / 100,000 mile warranty for $1800, and I chose to purchase it. I find extended warranties on most products to be a waste of money, and spending nearly a third of the value of something to insure it is probably over the top. Still, I am glad to know that if anything happens to it in the next four years I will have no further costs.

More than pretty much any other crime, I can see why people would be tempted to commit insurance fraud. First, you can convince yourself that there is no real victim here, just a faceless corporation. You might even think of it as striking a blow for mankind against The Man, ignoring the fact that premiums will rise as necessary to ensure that the company makes a profit. Second, it makes a big difference; several thousand dollars when you need it is nothing to sneeze at. Third, it is easy to see your situation as unjust. If I had been involved in a collision I would have received $3000 – $4000 for my vehicle in spite of any engine troubles that may have been lurking beneath the surface. Instead, I got $150 plus the cost of towing from a salvage yard, and had to pay $100 of that to the mechanic who determined what was wrong with it.

I asked for car-buying advice in my last post and thank you for some good comments. Several people suggested buying a new car, so I looked into it a bit further. There are a number of new vehicle models with prices “from” around $10,000, such as the Chevrolet Aveo, Kia Rio, Hyundai Accent, Nissan Versa, and Toyota Yaris. However, when they call these bare-bones models, they aren’t kidding. I do not require a lot of luxury features, but an automatic transmission, cruise control, and air conditioning are not optional for me. Because you cannot generally pick single options but must select “trim levels”, none of these models can actually be purchased with these features for under $14,000. At that price, I think I will take my chances with a used vehicle in the $5000 – $7000 range.

I last bought a car in 2005, and at the time got a vehicle that was 4 years old and had 80,000 miles and typical features for $5000. With the economy in a slump and the automobile market even worse, it seems to me that I should easily be able to find a similar deal now. Unfortunately, this is not the case. There are very few 2004-2006 models for sale around here, which I suppose makes sense. The only people who are going to be selling a 4 year old car in good condition are the kind who will be dealing in luxury models, not economy compacts. So, I’ve been expanding my search to vehicles with a few more years, a few more tens of thousands of miles, $1000 higher prices.

A few days ago I spent the afternoon calling about all of the advertisements from our local newspaper and web inventories that were close to these parameters. I surprising number had already been sold, and many others had manual transmissions or no cruise control. This left a 2005 Suzuki Verona S (82,000 miles, $5800), a 2004 Dodge Stratus (59,000 miles, $6995), a 2003 Chrysler PT Cruiser GT (119,000 miles, $5495), a 2003 Ford Focus LX (98,000 miles, $4995), and a 2004 Hyundai Sonata (90,000 miles, $4950). The Sonata looks like the best deal, but is larger than I would like. The Suzuki also appears good but does not get positive reviews for reliability. While more expensive than I would like, the Stratus is intriguing. Of course, all of these vehicles may have been sold by now. Rachel took tomorrow off work so we can drive around from lot to lot and hopefully find something acceptable.

Fitzpatrick & Lambert called to inform me that my #4 piston and wrist pin are broken and that repairing the engine would not be economical. They estimated that a salvage yard would give me a few hundred dollars at most for the body. Being a one-car household will work for a week or two, but ultimately I need to be able to go to the Lehigh Valley most weeks and am applying for jobs that will require a serious commute. I truly despise car shopping, but it looks like I have no choice.

Why do I hate buying automobiles? There are so many better things you could spend that kind of money on, and when you consider that your substantial investment may be off to the junkyard itself in a months I become practically ill. I am not a haggler by nature and look with suspicion on anyone who will not publicly advertise their real price. Sales pitches seem to focus on the most irrelevant details, such as paint color and leather upholstery rather than what actually matters.

So, I leave the task to you, knowledgeable denizens of the Internet. I need to find a vehicle that I can purchase for somewhere in the ballpark of $5000. I will need financing (ugh, that also makes me sick). I should be able to feel reasonably confident that it will not fall apart within the next few years, and that it will be safe. It should get good gas mileage. It will need to have an automatic transmission, and preferably will not be overly large.

In your opinions, what are the most reliable makes/models of pre-owned vehicles? Do you think it is worth it to go into debt further to buy a low-end new car and have a warranty? Is there anything that uses alternate fuel sources that is close enough to my price range to consider? Any thoughts that you have would be greatly appreciated.

Several weeks (months?) ago while on my weekly drive to Bethlehem I noticed that the radar detectors Penn-DOT had set up along the road reported my speed at 2 miles/hour slower than my speedometer. I did not think much of this since that sounds well within the range of error of a stationary radar device, but later checked the speed reported by my GPS-based navigation aid, which also agreed with the external data. I would not expect the GPS data to be highly accurate in determining the exact location of the vehicle at any instant in time, but it should be nearly perfect in measuring displacement over time with a constant speed. I began thinking about how a speedometer would operate and why it’s data might be inaccurate.

It made sense to me that the vehicle would calculate speed simply by multiplying the number of rotations per minute of the drive axle by the expected circumference of the tire (distance traveled per rotation), and then scaling to miles per hour. If this were so, reporting my speed at 103.2% of its actual value (65 m/h rather than 63 m/h) would be a result of it believing the circumference of my tire was 3.2% larger than actuality. I made a note to check the treads for wear, but promptly forgot about it.

A few days ago I noticed that my front driver’s side tire looked significantly flat, so I tested it and found a pressure of only 8 PSI. There is supposed to be a sticker on the inside of my driver’s door frame with recommended pressures, but I could not find one so I filled it to 30 PSI. The rear driver’s side tire was only inflated to 18 PSI, so I raised it as well. The passenger side tires were filled to 32 PSI and 29 PSI, confirming that 30 was around the correct value. I have no idea what caused the driver’s side tires to slowly deflate, but will be keeping a closer eye on them for a while.

On Friday I drove up to a hunting camp in Shunk, PA that my father is a member of to visit him and my uncle, enjoying my newly pressurized tires. I noticed no specific improvements in handling or performance, but the car ran exactly as expected for the entire hour-long drive. When I arrived at the cabin and began turning to park, the engine suddenly cut out, while all of the electrical systems remained operational. I attempted to restart it, but could not get the starter to turn over or even make a sound. I had not been intending to stay the night, but was at least stranded in a place with food, a bed, and friendly faces rather than by myself along one of the country roads with no cell reception on my way there.

In the light of the morning I tried starting the car again with the same results, and verified that the lights, radio, and windshield wipers were working at full power. Still, we cleaned the battery contacts a bit and jumped the battery. After this the starter would turn over but the engine never caught and sounded decidedly unwell while I continued to crank the starter. We visited the one local pseudo-garage but could find no one working. Fortunately, we were able to find a high ridge with cell reception and my Geico insurance covered the cost of a tow to the nearest Ford dealership, in Dushore. They expect to be able to look at it on Tuesday, at which point I will post an update about what is wrong.